God of the Gaps: The Gift that Must be Re-Gifted

Have you ever been given a gift that you turned around and gave to somebody else? Re-gifting—almost everyone has done it at one time or another. What is your re-gifting story?

There are lousy reasons for re-gifting:

It was a white elephant, and I passed it on as a gag;

I didn’t like it, so I got rid of it; or

I didn’t have any money for a gift, so I rummaged through my old junk, found something I wasn’t using, and give it away.

There are also some very good reasons for re-gifting:

I already had that exact thing, but I knew someone who needed one, so I passed it on;

I wanted one, but I knew someone who needed it more, so I gave it to them; or

The gift was too good for me to keep to myself—a big box of chocolates, perhaps—so I passed it on.

How does the idea of re-gifting appear in this story?

Matt 18:21-35

Commentary

Throughout this story, the vocabulary is noteworthy.

v24 10,000 talents. A talent was a measurement of a mass of valuable metal, e.g. silver. Since there was nothing like the Bureau of Weight & Measures, the exact amount varied, but a heavy common talent of silver was about 120 pounds. During the Peloponnesian War, an Attic talent was paid to a 200-man trireme crew for a month’s work. By that logic one talent was the value of 16 years of brute labor; therefore, a 10,000-talent debt could never be repaid by hard work alone.

v25 debt. This is the same word used euphemistically in the Lord’s Prayer for sin (forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors). Note also, “owed” (v24) in the Greek is “indebted” (i.e. the same root word as debt).

v27, 32 cancelled the debt. Literally “forgave the debt.” The same word is translated “forgive” in v21 and v35

v28 a hundred denarii. A denarius was the typical Roman “minimum wage” for unskilled day labor; so a 100-denarii debt could be worked off in half a year.

Application

The first servant got in trouble precisely because he did not re-gift! We are accustomed to gifts that are finite—either they are consumed as we use them (like candy) or they can only be used by a limited number of people at a time (usually only one adult will attempt to wear the same sweater at any given time). In economics and a branch of applied mathematics called game theory, this is an example of a zero-sum game—there is only a certain amount of a commodity (e.g. candy) and the only why for me to get more is for you to have less. A zero-sum game is also commonly called a win-lose scenario—the only way for me to win (e.g. to get more candy) is for you to lose (and have less, or no, candy).

However, forgiveness is potentially infinite. The amount of forgiveness potentially available to us is unlimited—consequently we do not lose by giving it away. Forgiveness has the tendency to liberate us to forgive others. In fact, not only do we not lose our forgiveness by extending forgiveness to others, instead we find that the act of forgiving others humanizes us and deepens our sense of the forgiveness we have received. In game theory, forgiveness is an example of what’s called a non-zero-sum game—it is not only possible for everyone to succeed, but instead the best outcome for me is also the best outcome for you: mutual forgiveness. (This is also known as a win-win scenario.) In the kingdom of God, it would appear that many of God’s gifts lead to win-win scenarios—the more that forgiveness, wisdom, love, patience, peace, and kindness (to name a few) are shared, the more we have.

So why then does the first servant fail to extend the forgiveness that he has received to another? He is missing gratitude. Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, "In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich." Without gratitude, the first servant is spiritually impoverished. I wonder—given that he ended up being jailed and tortured until his original debt was paid—is it going too far to say that he could only be forgiven as he was able to forgive others?

Points to Ponder

Social psychologists study situations called social traps, where individuals choose what appear to be the best strategies for themselves although the group suffers in the long term; over-fishing and brownouts during heat waves are examples of social traps. How can unforgiveness be a social trap? Are there situations in your family, or at work, where individuals fend for themselves and the whole group suffers? What might happen if you choose to opt for the good of the group?

The Discipline of Gratitude:
Seeing with Thankful Eyes

Ernest Kurtz says, Gratitude is the vision—the way of seeing—that recognizes “gift”:

A blind man was begging in a city park. Someone approached and asked him whether people were giving generously. The blind man shook a nearly empty tin.

His visitor said to him, “Let me write something on your card.” The blind man agreed. That evening the visitor returned. “Well, how were things today?”

The blind man showed him a tin full of money and asked, “What on earth did you write on that card?”

“Oh,” said the other, “I merely wrote, “Today is a spring day, and I am blind.’ "

(The Spirituality of Imperfection, p 175)

We are accustomed to thinking of gratitude as a feeling: Oh, thank you for buying me a new car! I needed it so much, and it is just the model, style, and color I dreamed of having one day! You have made me so happy! However, gratitude is actually an attitude—a way of seeing as Kurtz says—that releases us from our perceptions of winning and losing. Paul describes this discipline of gratitude:

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:11-13)

How might it work to finish each day, as you’re going off to sleep, by reviewing what God has sent your way—the good and the bad—giving him thanks for it all and telling him that you trust him to provide what you need?

Meister Eckhart said, “If the only prayer you say in your life is "thank you," that would suffice." Do you agree, or disagree? Why?