Gifts of Grace: The 80/20 Rule

This is part 13 of a sermon series on Ephesians. You have probably seen the bumper sticker:

Be patient! God is not finished with me yet!

We know we are not what we want to be, but neither are we what we used to be. Often we don’t sweat the incongruities between the two (life has enough other distractions to occupy our thoughts) but then we hit verses in the Bible like today’s, and we fear we are a fake, a hypocrite, a charlatan, a reprobate. We are called to be holy—yet we know we are not holy enough by far.

What are we to do?

Ephesians 5:1-7

Commentary

v1-2 Sometimes the chapter and section breaks in the Bible fall in odd places. Do you think v1-2 relate more to the verses that follow or the last few verses in chapter 4? (Remember, chapter 4 concludes with the exhortation, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”)

v3 Purity is just the beginning. Paul says there should not even be a hint, a suggestion, of impurity.

v4 Aristotle calls foolish talk, “cultured insolence.” When we engage in foolish or coarse talk, we know better, but we choose to be disrespectful and impertinent.

v5 Idolatry is the lynchpin for these verses. Humans can only serve one master. Jesus says, “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other” (Matthew 6:24).

v7 The direction given here is not to be partners with the deceivers in v6. It’s easy to make the mistake of thinking that we are to have nothing to do with the degenerates mentioned in v3-5; however God has called us to live in the world, to be the salt and light of the world, and we cannot do as God bids by living in isolation! Rather, we are told not to partake of the empty words—words devoid of Spirit and lacking in power—words that cannot save us.

Application

In his movie Why Did I Get Married? writer & director Tyler Perry [1] introduces his own version of the 80/20 Rule:

In life you get about 80% of what you think you need. When something comes along and offers the other 20% and you jump at it, thinking that you’re getting a good thing, you end up losing the 80%.

The temptations to immorality, vulgarity, greed, and coarseness derive from a sense of entitlement, a sense that we are owed something which God has not given us. The Bible might say that God satisfies all our needs (Isaiah 58:11) but we are frustrated, thinking that God has not satisfied all our wants. Like the characters in Perry’s movie, we feel like we’re only getting 80% (more or less).

Temptations arise when we have an opportunity to get that other 20%, the thing we feel we have been missing out on. If we are foolish, we chase after it … and in the process lose the 80%. We gain that which God would have withheld from us, but we gain it at the expense of losing the gifts from God. We gain our idols, but the cost is losing God.

I modified Perry’s 80/20 Rule earlier. In his movie, the rule pertains to marriage and infidelity, but it turns out that marriage and infidelity is exactly the metaphor God uses to describe his relationship with us the pernicious evil of idolatry:

Long ago you broke off your yoke and tore off your bonds; you said, 'I will not serve you!' Indeed, on every high hill and under every spreading tree you lay down as a prostitute ...

How can you say, 'I am not defiled; I have not run after the Baals'? See how you behaved in the valley; consider what you have done. You are a swift she-camel running here and there,

a wild donkey accustomed to the desert, sniffing the wind in her craving— in her heat who can restrain her? Any males that pursue her need not tire themselves; at mating time they will find her.

Do not run until your feet are bare and your throat is dry. But you said, 'It's no use! I love foreign gods, and I must go after them.' (Jeremiah 2:20,23-25) [2]

Chasing after the 20% and forsaking the 80% is a losing proposition, and in Jeremiah we see it as a ridiculous proposition as well! A wild donkey in heat? Lord, let it not be so! And yet that is exactly the battle that wages within! Paul puts it like this:

So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? (Romans 7:21-24)

What is a wild donkey, a wretched man, to do?

Jeremiah shows the way:

You say, 'I am innocent; he is not angry with me.' But I will pass judgment on you because you say, 'I have not sinned.' (Jeremiah 2:35)

These are empty words, foolish words, the words of a deceiver (Eph. 5:6). These are the words that lead us to forfeit the gifts of God. At the same time, to say, “I have sinned,” to say, “I am not innocent,” is the beginning of wisdom, the first step in a right relationship. God will not despise a contrite heart (Ps. 51:17).

Points to Ponder

Where are you tempted to immorality, impurity, greed, or just foolish talk? What does your temptation suggest that you feel you are missing out on?

What is the better thing that God has waiting for you?

Is it possible that idolatry is a vote of no-confidence in God to give you what you need?

Are you willing to forgo chasing after the 20% and being content with the 80? [3]

End Notes
1 - Tyler Perry is a highly-acclaimed African-American writer, director, producer & actor. His movies are generally rated PG-13, because he takes on serious topics, like domestic abuse and marital infidelity, but his main characters have strong Christian values and usually several are explicitly Christian. I highly recommend his movies!
2 - There is a lesson to be learned in these verses with respect to Ephesians 5:3-5. No doubt some will call these images vulgar and unnecessary, an affront to good taste, an example of the kind of talk we're told by Ephesians to avoid. Could it be that vulgarity is more a matter of intent than content? Could it be, as Peter learned in Acts 10:9, we should never call unclean what God has called clean (i.e. God's use of the image makes it clean)?
3 - I realize that, arithmetically, the 80/20 Rule doesn’t work. What God gives us is worth infinitely more than what we crave, but perhaps the rule reflects our appraisal of what we have. We’re so foolish, we don’t know a good thing when we have it!